Wednesday, January 14, 2009

You Know You've Been Teaching Too Long When...

True Story - names have been changed to protect the guilty!

Little Johnny brought a bottle of soda in for snack. Not only is soda not allowed for snack, but Johnny shook up the bottle and it exploded all over his desk and the desks around him. After he cleaned up the mess, he was told that he could not bring soda to school anymore.

Next morning: A phone call from Little Johnny's father, Big Johnny.

BJ: "Little Johnny says he cannot bring soda to school anymore"
Me: "That's right. We only have healthy snacks with fruit juice or milk."
BJ: "Well, I'm his F****ing father and if I say he can have soda, he can have soda." What do you think I am F***ing rich? I can't afford fruit juice. Do you know how expensive fruit juice is? Are you going to pay for his juice?"
Me: "No, I'm not. We've been learning a lot about nutrition in our class. We've been working with a local doctor on ways to prevent obesity in children."
B.J.: Oh, so now you're telling me that my F***ing kid is fat?"
Me: "A lot of the children drink water with their snack. There is a lot of research that shows that drinking water improves concentration and learning in school."
BJ: "He doesn't like F***ing water. I don't like F***ing water either. You just don't want him drinking soda because you are all F***ing lazy over there at the school and you don't want to deal with hyper kids."
The conversation went on for awhile and actually ended on a positive note and LJ won't be bringing soda to school anymore, except on special occasions, like party days.

The punch line is that Big Johnny was a student of mine when he was in Kindergarten!

Time to Retire!



14 comments:

kadezmom said...

AMEN. See choice was made for you.

The sad part is that I totally believe every word!!!!

Aunt Kathy said...

I laughed through all of that, so sorry. hahahahahahahahaha

Turtle said...

that is so funny! Seriously, as a former teacher i can appreciate that, (as well as grin from ear to ear to have seen Big Johnnys face when he figured out who you were!) Oh yes, it is time to retire!smile

Georgi said...

Yup, its time. Enjoy.

Bonnie D. said...

Thanks for giving me a f****** chuckle. LOL!

Dandy said...

some people.. we have some of those that come into the store too...

happy retirement!!

from the baby of the gang
;)

lol

rohanknitter said...

Jeez - that's pretty appalling. I can't imagine speaking to your child's teacher that way. ugh

MLJ1954 said...

So, were you tempted to put on your school voice and say to Big Johnny "you will be writing 'I will not swear in class' 100 times before your son returns to class"?

or just say to him, "well look at you. You were a fat kid and you are fat adult."

This is probably why I'm not a teacher. You are very nice.

MLJ1954 said...

Did I ever tell you about the time that one of my husband's first graders complained to him that someone had eaten her snack. When they checked, he discovered that she had brought an ice cream bar for snack. It was 80 degrees that day and, of course, all that was left was a puddle of melted mess.

Pati said...

On your last day tell little Johnny to take a his bottle of soda home to his dad and put some mentos in it. Would love to be the fly on the wall when he does!!!

Darcys Knotty Knitter said...

I was torn between laughter at how big johnny was acting like an ass and sympathy for you and having to listen to him brae like a donkey;)((((Hugs))))Darcy

aksunflour said...

oh I am so sorry that you went through all of that. But if Little Johny doesn't like water, there is plenty of flavoring packets that can be put in water to make it taste better.

So are you going to retire?

Chris said...

All I can say is "My goodness"

Katidids said...

One of my bonus daughters is a teacher, the stories she tells are just like this. Its so sad, these kids think no rules apply to them & and parents reenforce that!